Starting over is the most difficult thing any one person can do. It puts us out of our comfort zone and into a place where we are out of our element. It is a terrible and scary place of unknown forthcomings.
There are not many people that like and/or accept change. We are creatures of habit and routine and when those habits and routines change, we become lost. Some of us panic. Some of us cry. We become down and depressed.
But in every bad circumstance, in every negative life event, you can find a solution. You can develop a positive mindset and change those unfortunate circumstances. This post is going to make suggestions for starting over.
The Steps To Starting Over
Before anyone can begin to start over, we must first know and understand what our circumstances are. We need to understand the events that led up to this needed change as well as the “why” it happened.
Understanding what happened can help us find a way to make the correct changes. Once we know those circumstances, we can work on what needs to change, and then the steps to take to turn the situation around.
Address the Problem
The first step in fixing a problem is to address the problem clearly and honestly. Look at where you are. What has taken place to put you in the situation you are in?
Then ask yourself these important questions:
- Did you make bad decisions?
- Did you depend on someone else?
- Was the outcome due to circumstances that were out of your personal control?
- What could you have done differently?
Once you have answered these questions you can better address and plan your next move. You can clearly see what needs to happen when starting over. Let’s address each one individually.
Sometimes we bring about our own bad circumstances. Sometimes we make decisions that were not so great and caused our situation to turn out negatively.
Then ask yourself these questions:
- Think about what you could have differently.
- What actions should you have taken?
- What would have made for better choices?
You can not change the past, but understanding what bad decisions you made can stop you from making the same mistake again in the future. Write down what decisions you made, the outcome, and what you could have done differently.
Depending on Others
Sometimes we depend on others to get things accomplished. But understand that there is a difference between delegating and depending.
When we delegate we are giving someone the responsibility to accomplish a task for us. As long as the person can handle the responsibility this is a winning situation as it gives us time to work on other things.
Sometimes though, we put our responsibilities off on the wrong people or for the wrong reasons. Think about who you gave the responsibility to. Then consider why you expected someone else to do it.
Then ask yourself these questions:
- Are they dependable enough to be counted on?
- Is the person you are asking to help the right person for the job?
- Are you simply putting off something because you just don’t want to do it yourself?
- Are you avoiding something you should not be avoiding?
Circumstances Out Of Our Control
There are times that no matter how hard you try, no matter how great you plan, and no matter what your ideal situation is, things go wrong. Whether it be emergency situations, other peoples distractions, or just extenuating circumstances, things just don’t go as planned.
You need to know you have no control over these situations, they are not something you can control. They are not your fault. You cannot change them. Let it go. Do not dwell on them. Only once you accept and understand what went wrong you can make adjustments for starting over.
Look at what happened or did not go as planned. Then ask yourself these questions:
- Can you do that same plan, maybe somewhere else?
- Is there a better way to go about your original plan?
- Can you change the circumstances of what needs to be done somehow?
- What do you have control over?
Formatting a Better Plan
Once you have thoroughly reviewed what went wrong and how it went wrong, you can begin to take the necessary steps to correct your situation. Take notes about what to change and why. This is an important step in starting over.
Format a new plan of action based on your prior experiences and lessons learned. Don’t allow the negative things that impacted you to be a part of your new plan. Take one step at a time, formulate your course of action, then move forward knowing how not to make the same mistakes again.
Starting Over Involves Planning
You can not start over without a specific plan of action. This action plan can be on paper or visual but there has to be a plan none-the-less.
Set some specific goals about what you are trying to achieve, list out some action steps, and plan a schedule to accomplish those things. You can use a pen and paper, a planner, a whiteboard, or even a vision board. Whatever works best for you is fine, just use something concrete.
Here is a post on How To Make A Vision Board. It pertains to homesteading but the concept is the same. A really great planner can be found on amazon. There is a super easy to use planner for anyone called the Show Up and Shine Planner. It is a quarterly planner that allows you to focus on your goals one quarter at a time.
Enlist the Help of Others When Starting Over
We all need help sometimes. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. However, don’t just ask anyone, make sure those you ask will genuinely help in a positive way.
Here are some guidelines for asking for help:
- Make sure the person is qualified and has the experience to help you.
- Make sure you trust this person to do exactly what you expect them to.
- Set a deadline for the completion of any timely projects.
- Fully explain what your expectations are and that they understand them.
- Stay in contact and review their progress at regular intervals.
Set Up Reviews to Check Progress
No matter how dependable others can be, how concrete and well-planned your goals are, you must review your progress periodically. This can be daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly depending on how long you project is.
Set up times to check your progress, then look at what has been accomplished or completed, and where you are heading. If you see gaps or problems arising, make adjustments immediately.
Inspiration for Starting Over
Whether you are starting over in your personal life or your career, you need to be aware that bad things happen to everyone. Sometimes life throws us curve balls. Sometimes we swing, but we miss.
And sometimes, those things or events that happen could have been controlled if we ourselves had made better decisions, and sometimes it’s not our fault at all. Either way, it must be chalked up as a learning experience. Take what you learned and move forward with that new-found knowledge.
It is okay to get down, maybe cry, or just feel sad. It’s okay to feel like you don’t have an answer right now. It’s okay to feel lost or hurt or sometimes both. But know it is not a forever thing.
Every circumstance can be changed for the better. All the bad can be changed to good and positive experiences. Stay positive, focus on the future. It will get better if you truly want it to.
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